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Monday, November 30, 2009

What's In The Home Cooking


Inside the concrete confines of 40 Bay St. is a place opposing goalies come to shine. I don't know if it's just me but it seems like every game we play at home we get stymied by the opposing goaltender. Let's take a look at some numbers.

Oct 1 - Carey Price - 43/46 - W - .935 vs .909

Oct 6 - Pascal Leclaire - 26/27 - W - .963 vs .901

Oct 10 - Marc-Andre Fleury - 18/20 - W - .900 vs .903

Oct 13 - Craig Anderson - 30/31 - W - .968 vs .918

Oct 17 - Henrik Lundqvist - 34/35 - W - .971 vs .912

Nov 3 - Antero Niittymaki - 40/41 - W - .976 vs .932

Nov 7 - Chris Osgood - 23/28 - L - .821 vs .897

Nov 10 - Niklas Backstrom - 37/39 - W - .949 vs .910

Nov 14 - Miikka Kiprusoff - 38/40 - W - .950 vs .922

Nov 21 - Semyon Varlamov - 38/39 - L - .974 vs .919

Nov 23 - Dwayne Roloson - 58/61 - W - .951 vs .916

Nov 30 - Ryan Miller - 38/38 - W - 1.000 vs .933


That is a list of all the starting visiting goaltenders, the number of saves/shots faced, the outcome of the game for them and their save percentage in the game vs their save percentage on the season.


The visiting goalies made a total of 423 saves on a total of 445 shots. That's a .951 save percentage!


In 12 home games, the Leafs only won two, one coming against a bad Chris Osgood and the other against an amazing Semyon Varlamov. The only time the Leafs faced a goalie who didn't play way above of way below his average was in a loss against Marc Andre-Fleury. On average, the opposing goalie posts a save percentage that is .032 higher than their season average! Tack on .032 to Toskala's save percentage and he's the owner of an almost respectable .897 save percentage. Do you know how hard it is to make Toskala almost respectable? Yeah...that's how our luck at home has been.


On the contrary, we are shooting a dismal 4.94%. To put that into perspective, remember how bad Jason Blake was his first season here? Well, he shot a mere 4.5%. We are basically watching a group of Jason Blakes!


Remember when the Yankees dug up their new stadium to get rid of that Ortiz jersey? Well, they ended up winning the World Series. My only explanation is that somebody buried a Georges Vezina or Jacques Plante jersey here and the curse is finally taking effect. That or Ken Dryden's stench is still in the building. Blow up the ACC is you have to, this must end. Until the Leafs get a new arena, we can only hope that the law of averages eventually evens things out because I am getting sick and tired of playing against what looks like a Vezina candidate night after night.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Difficult Second

I preached at my church again tonight. It was my second time preaching at my church. I was a little nervous about it because I feel like the second one is always harder than the first. Unless your first was a shocker.

See the first you give a heap of attention to. And so you generally do an ok job. But then if you do ok with your first, then you can be tempted to slip for number two, rest on knowledge that you're too awesome to stuff up. Or you've put all your good stuff into number one that number two is just looking for scraps.

It's like this with a band's second album or a TV show's second season. And I feel like it could be like that with preaching. My second sermons at my old churches were pretty dismal.

And in order to avoid that happening tonight I wanted to be working on tonight's sermon for a while before hand. In some ways I was, I was thinking about it well in advance. But I only got down to serious work on it about two weeks ago. Still two weeks is a lot longer than I was able to give sermons in the previous seven years.

But this week, when I looked at my week I realised I wasn't going to get any time to work on the thing let alone write it. My days and my nights were full. I worked most days last week. Friday I was working, then I had Youth Group. Saturday I was hanging out with Hannah and then worked ushering right through to 11:30pm. As I caught the train home last night I wrote out the outline of my sermon.

Today, I had a church meeting, and then five and a half free hours, between when that finished and when I preached. So I came home and typed hard, stopping only for some essential wedges and Coke. I finished with a printed sermon 9 minutes before church started.

I walked up to church thinking over everything I left out of the sermon, and everything I hadn't articulated clearly enough. I went over all the problems with the structure of the sermon. It's a normal process for me before I preach. Each time I preach I tell myself all the reasons why this one sucks.

Then I start to stress that I'll preach badly and people will think I'm a crap preacher.

Then I pray and say "God, use my words, good or bad for your glory. Make this about you not me." And then I still think the sermon is crap, but I have to keep remembering that it's ok if I look crap too. God can do what he wants.

Before I preached tonight I got moved by my inadequacy to be preaching and the enormity of the task of sharing God's word. I worked out a prayer to pray before I preached as a result. I reckon it was a good sounding prayer too. Then when I got up to pray, my mic started giving feedback and I forgot my beautifully crafted prayer, and just started thinking about where I could stand on the stage where I wouldn't feedback. I tried to regain the prayer, but I lost the moment a little. I was disappointed God wouldn't hear how elegantly I could articulate my inadequacy to preach his word. But I reckon he probably knows that already.

In the end I was happy with the sermon. I got thirsty, as I often do. I remembered my water this time but it was too far away. I need a stool with my water on it, like this. But that would look a little wanky.

Speaking of wanky, when it was time to preach tonight, I had to carry the lectern myself from the side of the stage to the middle. There was no one to carry it for me. Standards are slipping. If we were Hillsong there would be someone with the lectern ministry, and rightly so. Someone did it for me on a camp last year, and I think there were 25% more salvations because I was free to just focus on bringing the word, not carrying lecterns around.

What's actually embarrassing is that when I walked up on stage I thought to myself "No one has moved the lectern for me." No joke. Someone should punch me.

Anyway, I was happy with the sermon. I censored myself on the jokes about nudity and porn stars, which I think was the right choice. Although I reckon they would have been funny. For instance, which do think is funnier a monkey dressed as an astronaut or a monkey dressed as a porn star? Need I say more?

All up, I'm hoping God is using the sermon to change us and see him more clearly. However inadequate I am to preach with all my vanity, self-love and self-doubt, God is bigger. And despite who I am, I know his word will not return to him empty.

And that is my post-preach debrief. Until I podcast it, and then I'll debrief again on the preaching blog. But I'll probably mostly just talk about the content there. And I haven't really talked about that at all. I don't want to mix the content too much. You know, I can't deprive the cross-readership.

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Paul Pierce is a Douchebag

Whether you are dropping down to block a slap shot or standing in the lane to take a charge, it takes cojones to play pro sports. You wouldn't know it from the following clip though.

This whole video just makes me sick. Let's break it down.
1. Rasho Nesterovic is guarding Paul Pierce on an ISO play. How the fuck does this happen?
2. Paul Pierce's dirty fuckin slam on Bosh. Now when I say dirty I don't mean it the same way the hip kids do. The way he sticks out his knee out to catch CB4 in the nuts is plain dirty.
3. The stare-down. You're a real tough guy, Pierce. You didn't posterize Bosh, you kneed him in the balls. Need I remind you that you're the same guy that did this?

4. The score. It was 87-72 before the dunk. The dunk was totally unnecessary.
5. The Kevin Garnett pan away. From one big douchebag to the biggest douchebag.
6. 4 fuckin Raptors who stood around and did NOTHING!

Rasho Nesterovic, Jose Calderon, Hedo Turkuglo and Jarrett Jack should hang their head in shame for not standing up for their team leader and all-star, Chris Bosh. None of them even wanted to make eye contact with Pierce. This is why teams like The Celtics aren't afraid to step all over the Raptors. They know that they won't have to face the consequences if they do. I haven't seen a Raptor get animated over a play since Charles Oakley. What this clip doesn't show is the only guy who stood up for Bosh, the only guy who gave a shit, the only guy to go after Pierce; that guy was Raptors head coach and good ol' Canadian boy, Jay Triano.

Speaking of balls, Phil Kessel might only have one but he is the fuckin man.

When was the last time you remember seeing a player going coast to coast and scoring a beauty like that on the Leafs? As great as Sundin was, even he didn't have that speed and quick release. There's only one possible reaction to a goal so pretty.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Movembrance Day

In Niklas Hagman's last 4 games he has 4 goals and is a +3. Now Hagman isn't a bad player by any means but he won't be a 50 goal scorer anytime soon so why the sudden surge? Well, roughly around that time, he decided to go the way of the White and grow a stache. Due to his blondness, it isn't very visible in the above picture but take a closer look. There is indeed some fuzz above his upper lip.

Some might consider it a mere coincidence. After all, it's just facial hair, right? Wrong! Is it a coincidence that Ian White goes from marginal NHLer to top four status after growing his moustache? Is it a coincidence that Wendel was always awesome because he was born with a stache? Face it, ladies and gents, the stache does wonders for your NHL career!

In case you didn't know, this month is the month of Movember. Now I could attempt to grow a moustache but it would look worse than Sidney Crosby's...when he was 13. So instead, I went out and purchased the Stache Generator 2000 and ran the Leafs roster through it. Can you say greatest Leafs team of all time?

It all starts with a good front office

Followed by solid goaltending

Continue building from the net out with the defence

Top it off with some skilled forwards

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Poo Fashion

There is a tree over our washing line in which Rainbow Lorikeets are currently loving to sit and eat the flowers.

On Sunday Jenny brought in my clothes from off the line. This was the collection of clothes I discovered when I got home.

Poo Clothes.jpg

Freakin' birds.

FAMED TEXAS TRIAL LAWYER JOHN O QUINN DEAD AFTER SUV CRASH


****Breaking*****

Texas trial lawyer John O Quinn has died as the result of the SUV he was driving at high speed in the rain leaving the road, the ABA Journal Reports.

Quinn’s employee, Johnny Cutliff, was also killed in the crash.

According to media reports, Quinn was driving more than 30 miles per hour over the published 40 MPH speed limit at the time of the single vehicle accident.

John O'Quinn is widely acknowledged as one of the most accomplished trial lawyers of his time, holding some of the largest verdicts and settlements in the country.

Monday, November 23, 2009

Highway 61





Highway 61. Often called the Blues Highway because it runs through the heart of blues country, the Mississippi delta.
To quote a great bluesman

"If it wasn't for bad luck
I wouldn't have no luck at all"

-Albert King


Oh yeah. Fuck off, Vesa.

A Tribute to Vince Carter

So you may or may not have heard but Vince Carter was apparently approached by the Raptors before Sunday's game to be honoured for their 15th anniversary but he declined the invitation. I don't blame him, why would he accept it? He's not going to win over any fans and will just be serenaded by boos. He's also playing on the opposing team! C'mon, Raptors...I mean are you really going to celebrate the 15th anniversary of the team? Most superstars that played on the team are still in the league! Wait another 10 years when some of them actually retire!

Make no mistake about it though; Vince put Toronto on the NBA map. Along with Mats Sundin and Carlos Delgado he headed one of the deadliest triple threats the sporting world had seen in the early 2000s. This is why I would hate for him to not get the recognition he deserved. Luckily I know a guy who knows a guy that works in the Raptors media room so I got my hands on the tribute slideshow. I present to you the Raptor's tribute to Vince.

It all started in the draft of '98
Picks were swapped and the rest was fate
At 6'6 Vince was quite the high flier
He had no fear. He dunked over guys 7 foot or higher
In the year 2000 the Raptors were still a relatively new addition
But Vince put us on the map by winning the slam dunk competition
However, all wasn't rosy as the team still went nowhere
I'm sure Vince knew it. He had a great view from his chair
But let's not turn this into a rant, we're not here to pick you apart
Because no matter where you went, Vince, you played with the
same
heart.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

New Moon

Bella and Edward.jpg

Warning: Spoilers ahead

Gem, Matt and I went and saw New Moon and it turned out to be even more terrible than the first movie, which is quite an achievement. While I spent much of the first film laughing, I spent much of this one saying "Oh my goodness" in exasperation at the poisonous trash that was defecating all over our eyes. Matt sat next to me and regularly said words which I shan't repeat on the blog, but it summed up my feelings better than the ones I could express to the limits of my Christian piety.

The acting was terrible, Edward still looks like a sad, cancer patient, and the writing was atrocious ("I love you, I can't live without you, you're my everything, I'm terrible for you, you're my breath, get away from me, but I actually really need you"). The only good bit of script was when Edward quoted a chunk of Shakespeare. It had a rather jarring effect finding such quality amongst such ugliness, kinda like finding a Rembrandt in a crack house.

I know I'm sounding rather harsh. But I can't find much to redeem this film. If you're a lady Jacob Black's abs are impressive and they might redeem the film a little (as they did for Lesley). There was a squeal in the cinema from many females when he took off his shirt for the first time. He spends almost the entire film with nothing but a pair of shorts on. His clothes get destroyed when he turns into a werewolf, but somehow he has an endless supply of jeans cut-offs at his disposal for when he goes back to human form. One imagines he spends all his time when not a werewolf at Wal Mart buying jeans then going home and cutting off the legs.

But apart from Jacob's conspicuous abs (which did little for me except make me feel inferior) this film is pretty useless. I don't think any of the character's are happy for any moment of the film. They're all depressed and spend the whole time moping about lost love. It makes for infuriating watching.

And then there are the messages. Which I think are probably the most horrendous bit of the film. Because I can cope with bad films if they aren't spreading terrible lies. This film is emotional porn at its worst.

There's the total dependence of Bella and Jacob on each other. They live and breath each other, and yet when they're together they just natter at each other (Bella: Turn me into a vampire, Edward: No, I won't, I love you and wouldn't do that to you, Bella: Turn me into a vampire, Edward: No, I won't... and so it goes). They are so co-dependant that when Edward thinks Bella has died he tries to kill himself, only to be saved by Bella as she proves to him that she's still alive. And this attempted suicide, sparkling in the sun, is seen as Edward's great romantic devotion to Bella. If a guy kills himself because he can't have his girlfriend any more, it's not romantic, it's totally unhealthy. Why do people want to hold up Bella and Edward's relationship as the epitome of true love? Teenage girls don't need any more encouragement to get into unhealthy relationships.

Romeo and Juliet is held up through out the film as this archetypal love story for Bella and Edward, as if Romeo and Juliet are the pinnacle of romance. They're not. The play isn't a romance, it's tragedy! Romeo and Juliet die! It wasn't as if Shakespeare wrote it to say "Hey kid's, be like this. Woo!"

If Edward was a vampire with any courage, when he found out Bella was dead, he wouldn't kill himself, at risk of sounding terribly clichéd, he'd decide to keep living with the pain, working at healing and making something good of his life, because that's what Bella would want. Except she probably wouldn't because Bella is one of the most selfish leading ladies in cinema since Scarlet O'Hara. She spends the whole film using and manipulating Jacob because it makes her feel better about Edward being gone and then using and manipulating Edward to make her feel good and turn her into a vampire.

If you want to get all Christian about it, then Bella and Edward are in the high priesthood for the idolatry of relationship. Surely Stephanie Mayer, the Mormon, can see that elevating anything other than God to that level of obsession in your life is going to be fundamentally destructive to the soul. We may not agree on who God is, but we should probably be able to agree that romance isn't God.

But perhaps the whole divine marriage thing of the Mormons, and the elevation of humanity to divinity in the after life is part of all this. So I could see how you could allow Bella and Edward's romance to be seen as some kind of representation of true humanity's realisation. After all it was the romance of father God and mother God who made the world and birthed us. But I digress.

Aside from Bella and Edward's mess, there's a scene in the film where Bella meets the fiancée of the head werewolf. She's had half her face ripped off by her fiancée in a snap fit of rage. And there she is, the first time we meet her, serving muffins to her man's equally dangerous friends. And when he comes home, they give each other a kiss and continue as if nothing is wrong. And this should be a cause for concern in the film. But it's not. No one thinks to mention that perhaps this girl should get out of the relationship. Their not even married and the guy has torn half her face off, and they just go on as if his fit of rage just comes with the territory of being engaged to a werewolf.

The only time the issue is addressed is when Jacob says he can't hang out with Bella any more because he might do the same to her. But then he hangs around anyway because he just can't stay away from her and he's selfish. And she keeps wanting him close anyway because he's her best friend. So we overlook the potential for incredible violence being perpetrated against these women if it's for the sake of relationship.

It's all just so terribly sick. And I think I react so strongly to it because it's so popular and so obsessed over by so many women and girls. It's just sending so many bad messages. If this is what girls are obsessing over, what will they take with them into their future relationships?

All that said though, I'm not going to go on a crusade to rid the world of Twilight. And if it gives us an opportunity to assess how healthy relationship should be done, then I'll take it. So maybe we should just look for those openings, to somehow point out that finding your Jacob or your Edward isn't actually going to be all it's cracked up to be and hopefully in turn, we can help people to see who might be better at protecting and selflessly loving these women who want good love so much.

If You Need to Explain...

Overheard in the Westfield Food Court on Saturday:

"...the Pope is the top guy, he runs the Catholic Church so he's obviously he's going to be Catholic."

Friday, November 20, 2009

Twit

I am currently toying with the idea of tweeting.

I do generally find Twitter dull. Or if someone has something good say, infuriatingly short.

I think I shall shoot for exceedingly dull. I wanna make it an art form.

Fuck This Shit

Another game, another loss. This time it stings even more because it was to the now second last place Canes. That's right, we're last AGAIN. We couldn't even beat a team who had ONE win in their last sixteen coming into last night. A team who signed Manny fuckin Legace because Cam Ward got hurt. A team with Paul Maurice as a head coach for god's sake...

This has got to be the unluckiest team I have ever witnessed. Up 3-0 in the first and we manage to let the Canes right back in to it with 2 real stinkers in the 2nd period. Sorry, Gustavsson. The honeymoon is over. Get your shit together and control a fuckin rebound.

Thanks, refs for giftwrapping this game to the Canes. That four minute penalty to White was just terrible. If you're going to make such a game changing call late in the game, make sure you get it right and don't call one just because you see somebody falling to the ice.

No biggie though, Ian White will redeem himself! That moustache isn't just all show, you know. What do you know? He scores with 30 seconds left! Pop the bubbly because there's no way we can blow this. Not when it's against the pathetic Hurricanes...

FUCK YOU ERIK COLE

How the fuck do you let the Carolina fuckin Hurricanes score in 28 seconds? I could centre a line with my grandmothers on wing and my sisters on defence and that wouldn' happen. Seriously...What. The. Fuck.

Ah well, at least we got the extra point in OT.



Huh? Intent to blow? How does anybody rule this? How does anybody besides the fuckin ref know he really intended to blow the whistle? If you watch the video, the ref clearly is in place and even has his whistle in his mouth the entire time. Why are you going to wait almost 2 fuckin seconds after the puck crosses the line to blow it?! Nobody was in the crease wacking at the puck. The only guy in there was Hagman and he got bowled into Legace by Erik Cole! Is Ian Wallace the son of Kerry Fraser? FUCK!

Eh, the game went to shoot out and we all that the Leafs have a clause in their goalie contracts that states they must be terrible in shoot outs...

FUCK THIS SHIT

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Membership

I found out the other day that I am now officially a member of my new Baptist church. Hurrah! Now I can vote in the Christocracy (like a democracy, except Jesus votes through the real Christians and Satan votes through the fake ones and you see who wins).

Personally, I'm very excited to be a member. I had to be interviewed and everything. Although I never had to be dunked. I only got sprinkled as a child by the man in a dress, and they let me be a member anyway. These Baptists are soft, for which I am thankful. I think they might read out my name at the Church AGM on Sunday week. I'm sure I'll cry because it'll be very moving. I hope we all hold hands and sing "Welcome to the Family".

I'm wondering if I am still a member of the Anglican church? I think I might be. I think getting confirmed makes me an Anglican for life.

I'm hoping to maintain my Anglicanism. I want to be able to vote as an Anglican too. Not that voting means anything when you're an Anglican because the Anglican Church is a Autocracy. The Senior Minister just does whatever he wants but it's recommended he has Jesus as his senior advisor. Or Calvin if he's in Sydney. Or Elton John, if he/she is in the USA.

Anyway, I'm happy to now be officially a Baptist and an Anglican. I think I shall call myself a Banglican. I shall dance like a Baptist but drink like an Anglican, and everyone will just think I'm your typical Aussie bloke.

Banglicans, represent!

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Google Reader

Over the past few days I've decided to make more use of my Google Reader. I have started to follow people and the blog posts they share, and I've started sharing blog posts that I like.

I think I like it because I read peoples blogs and think "Gosh, I wish I blogged that." Now with Google Reader I kinda can. Google tells me I have 5 people following my shared, but I wouldn't be surprised if I actually have none.

I'm slowly putting in you folk from Blog Feed so I can share your posts if I like them with all five of my avid followers.

Feel free to follow me if you want. I'm here or you can just search for thomaswench. That'll work too.

Now wasn't that exciting?

Monday, November 16, 2009

Tumbarumba

Team Tumba.jpg

I spent this weekend in Tumbarumba with Soul in the Bush.

Soul in the Bush (I think technically it's meant to be SoulintheBush, but that's not that easy to read) is a ministry of Soul Survivor NSW/ACT where they send teams out to various country towns around NSW to serve the church there in whatever way the church wants.

So I was invited to join Beth, Tanya and James on a trip out to Tumbarumba to serve the church there. On Friday night we met 4 of the members of the Anglican church who were hosting us. They were most friendly and very happy to have us there.

On Saturday morning I was off to do some gardening pulling out weeds for an old lady with MS, then it was lunch with one of the families from Church. In the afternoon we helped run a kids afternoon, which was followed by a barbie for dinner and a youth night that night.

Sunday we ran half the church service, doing music, a testimony and giving the sermon. Then we drove home.

When I left home I had $14 in my bank account and $3 in my wallet so I wasn't entirely sure how it was all going work. When I got home I'd gotten to eat three meals a day, had all my accommodation paid for, and the petrol to get me there, and I only ended up scabbing one Coke off a team member during the whole trip. God's provision was generous and so were his people.

I did enjoy spending a few days with Beth, Tanya and James. We all stayed in a cabin together in the caravan park, so I feel like I got to have plenty of fun together. I enjoyed hanging out in the boys end of the cabin with James (the girls took the bedroom and because we're good Christians us boys didn't go in once). He was quite happy partake in poo jokes so I knew I had a good mission companion.

I also loved seeing the country folk and meeting a bunch of people who love God and love serving him in their community. They were so thankful to us for being there, I felt so blessed to be able to be a blessing.

When we ran the youth night we had some of the local hooligans turn up. They didn't feel like playing my wide game, they just wanted to look tough and throw water bombs. Then the local drug dealer turned up and they just wanted to impress him. Happily though, the hooligans and the drug dealer, and all the other youth, heard that God lavishes his love on them and thinks their valuable, so it was certainly worth having them along.

I prayed for a few guys who may never have been prayed for out loud before. They said I could do it and then giggled when I did but I still felt privileged to get to do it.

Running half the church service yesterday for Tumba Anglican meant that it became one of the longest church services in the world outside of Africa. We had a children's story, a testimony, communion, new music, old music, announcements and a sermon. It took us and hour and fifty minutes to get through the whole service. I did the sermon on Colossians 1:15-23, it was a rehash of an old one. While I love preaching new stuff, I also enjoy doing old stuff because you can pick your best sermons and do them better. And it takes about an hour or two to prepare rather than 15-20 hours. Still if I had to pick between old ones rehashed or new ones, I'd pick new ones.

Finally I did quite enjoy the road tripping. 'Cause road tripping is almost always fun, and it was fun this time.

I had a good weekend.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Meeting The Monster and XLB

Exelby & Gustavsson Q&A

I just got back from the interview and autograph session with Garnet Exelby and Jonas Gustavsson. The event itself started at 1 pm but doors opened at 12 pm. I got there a little bit before 12 and there was already a line up of around 30-40 people. I immediately recognized Monika. That long blonde hair...mmm she smelled so good...
/Jizz in my pants

Dramatization

My stalking aside, here's how the rest of the event went down. The interview session was all done with fans. People either asked questions there or sent Monika questions through twitter. Here are some of the Q&A's I could remember (paraphrased of course).

Q: Are you guys on social networking sites like Twitter or Facebook?

Both: No so if you see any claiming to be them, they're phonies!

The Mad Hatter with The Monster

Q: (To Exelby) I notice you wear a lot of hats, particularly the fedora, is there a reason for that?

XLB: I guess I started it when I started growing my hair long. After showers and such, I needed something to keep my hair on my head so I decided to find a hat. I just hate it when we go to cold places and players wear a suit and wear a beanie or toque with it so I wanted to find something stylish.

Monika: and your style, Jonas? I notice you have a more Euro look.

Monster: Well, you know, you have to keep it Swedish.

Q: How is the attention you're receiving now compared to how things were last year?

XLB: Playing in Atlanta, there is definitely more attention on the team here than there were in the southern US. There are like 400 guys covering the same team so sometimes you get asked a lot of the same questions but I love it. Bring it on.

Monster: We got some attention last year but only during the playoffs. We get that same attention here everyday, like even in the preseason. I think it's great that so many people are into the team.

Q: How do you get pumped for the game?

Both: On game days, we like to take it easy, take a nap and relax until the game.

Not now, Chief. I'm in the fuckin' zone.

Q: Do you guys have any superstitions?

XLB: I don't have any that I'm aware of but I'm sure that subconsciously I do certain things like putting on my equipment in a certain order.

Monster: I like to put on my equipment the same way everyday. It just feels right. I also like to be by myself after the warm ups to collect my thoughts.

I can't wait til you pull one of these, Exelby

Q: Who were your role models growing up?

XLB: I really liked Scott Stevens. He was a good defensive defender and laid out some big open ice hits.

Monster: My role model was Patrick Roy. I believe he was the best goalie to play in the NHL.

Q: What do you like to do in the offseason?

XLB: I like to travel (then he named a shitload of places he's been to).

Monster: I haven't been to too many places. Mostly places in Europe only. I just like to take it easy and hang out with friends.

I have no clue what kind of t-shirt that is but it is awesome

Q: Who do you room with on the road and do you have any funny stories to share?

Monster: Well, nobody likes me so I have my own room. Nah, the Leafs actually gives the goalies their own room so I'm by myself.

XLB: I share a room with Finger. We actually don't see each other too often since we're the ones usually in and out of the line up. When he plays I try to stay out of his way and when I play he does the same for me. As for funny stories, I had a roommate in Atlanta so snored so bad, I had to go to the front desk to get a room for myself. (Now to find out who he roomed with in Atlanta)

Jonas, if you pull a Vesa, I will ship your Nordic ass on the first flight
back to Sweden faster than you can say Ikea meatballs!


Q: If you could have dinner with one person, who would it be?

XLB: Leonardo da Vinci. I just thought he was interesting with his views on life and religion (and he went on and on about it but I was trying to take a picture of The Monster at the time).

Monster: Jeremy Piven from Entourage. I would love to try to trash talk him.

There were a couple more questions that was asked that I don't remember the complete answer to them so I didn't recap them. They both seemed like cool guys. Exelby was the funny guy while Jonas seemed a bit shy with a more subtle sense of humour. Jonas also disses a Habs fan there about having to learn French.

It may be a little hard to read but Gustavsson wrote 'The Monster' beside his signature.

I believe the event will be up on Leafs Space some time next week so keep an eye out for it if you want to catch it in it's entirety!

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Lucky 13: Scariest NHLers

Cross any black cats yesterday? See anything strange? If you weren't aware by now, yesterday was Friday the 13th. In fine Friday the 13th fashion, I will run down some of the scariest players to ever lace them up. Here are 13 NHLers that you won't want to find in your nightmares.

#13 - Zdeno Chara

At a hulking 6'9, 255, Chara is built more like a power forward in the NBA than an NHL defenceman. While he doesn't fight often (probably because nobody is dumb enough to drop the gloves with him) you will not like him when he gets angry. When he's not busy crushing opponents or tossing them like ragdolls, he enjoys eating a good set of twins.

#12 - Gordie Howe

Here's a guy who has played in four different decades and had many offensive records until Gretzky broke them. You would think that somebody with such longevity and offensive prowess didn't like to mix it up too much but there's a reason why the Gordie Howe hat trick is a goal, assist and a fight. If you want to go into the corners with Mr. Hockey, you are guaranteed to come out with one thing; his elbow in your face.

#11 - Stu Grimson

Stu Grimson was one of the premier enforcers of the 90's. With a 6'6 frame and the nickname, The Grim Reaper, what isn't there to fear about? While his points total was rather lousy (39 points in 729 career games), he knew what his job was and amassed over 2,000 penalty minutes doing it.

#10 - Dave "The Hammer" Schultz

Schultz was a part of the infamous Broad Street Bullies teams. With Bobby Clarke being one of the biggest pricks to play in the NHL, the guy protecting him had to have had his hands full. As a result, Schultz holds the single season record for most penalty minutes with 472.

#9 - Georges Laraque

Georges seems like a nice guy, one may even think he is a gentle giant...until they see him bust some faces. Laraque is one of the best enforcers in the game today and a simple youtube search for him will verify that. Is there a scarier vegan on the face of the earth?

#8 - Dave "Tiger" Williams

Here is a player that Tie Domi idolized. That should tell you all you need to know about his toughness. While he was labeled as an enforcer, Tiger could score as well. It wasn't uncommon to see him finish a season with 40-50 points and 300 penalty minutes.

#7 - Tie Domi

By far one of the smallest enforcers to ever play the game, Domi wasn't afraid to drop them no matter how much bigger his opponent was. Domi's fighting strategy usually involved jerseying the guy and dropping bombs on him. Whether foe or fan, nobody is safe from the wrath of Tie.

#6 - Marty McSorley

There's a reason Gretzky scored 2,857 points, that reason is because he had this psychopath patrolling the ice. Lay your hands on the great one and he will get his hands on you. Just take a look at his stats and check out the teams he played on with Gretzky and without. You will notice the difference in penalty minutes.

#5 - Derek Boogaard

With a 23-9-4 fight record (according to the voters at hockeyfights.com), The Boogeyman is no joke. He is regarded as one of the top fighters in the game today. He only has 10 points in 198 games and believe me, it had nothing to do with Jacques Lemaire's coaching style. The 6'8, 257 lb enforcer only has one job and that is to destroy opponent's faces. Just as Todd Fedoruk.

#4 - Red Horner

During his playing days, there were few tougher than Horner. He led the league in penalty minutes in 8 of his 12 seasons. Horner amassed total of 1,264 penalty minutes in 490 career games. Now that might not seem like a ton but you must remember that Horner played in the 30's. To get a penalty you practically had to two-hand a guy over the face.

#3 - Bob Probert

A hockey enforcer? Scary. A drug addict? Scary. Combine the two and you get Bob Probert. In my opinion, Probert was the premier enforcer (note: I didn't say fighter because we all know who that king was) of the 90's. As insane as Probert was on the ice, he was equally as psychotic off the ice. In 2004 he had to be subdued with tasers and stun guns and in 2005 he assaulted a police officer. I definitely wouldn't want to be in this guy's bad books.

#2 - Eddie Shore

Eddie Shore is a nutcase. I'll let his wikipedia entry do the talking

"During their first practice with the Bruins, Shore strutted back and forth in front of Coutu and Cleghorn. Coutu body-slammed Shore, head-butted, elbowed, and tried to torment Shore. Coutu picked up the puck and made a rush at Shore. The two players collided. Shore held his ground and Coutu flew through the air violently crashing to the ice. Shore's ear was almost ripped off but he barely noticed it. Coutu was out cold and was out of commission for a week. Shore visited several doctors who wanted to amputate the ear, but found one who sewed it back on. After refusing anesthetic, Shore used a mirror to watch the doctor sew the ear on."

Umm...WHAT. THE. FUCK.

#1 - Wendel Clark

Wendel Clark was the scariest hockey player to ever play the game, hands down. This guy was basically Ovechkin before Ovechkin but with balls. He scored goals, he hit hard and dropped you faster than you could say 1967. He is also the feature of THE GREATEST YOUTUBE VIDEO OF ALL TIME!
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Did I miss anybody? Who gives you nightmares? Mike Ricci? Drop em in the comments!

As an aside, 7 of the 13 players on the list are from Saskatchewan. If only I stayed in Saskatchewan, I could have became a hulking 6'4, 240 lb professional face smasher. TRUCULENCE