My Brother Exposed

I've exposed myself now its time to expose my family. Last Christmas Brad and I went to Brooklyn to spend the holidays with my family there. My mother is a teacher at a high school in Brooklyn. During the school year my dad and her live in the garden level apartment of an old brownstone in the historic Ft. Greene district of brooklyn owned by my brother and his partner. When school lets out they escape to Scottsdale, AZ for the summer. Trust me the dryness is much better than the humidity.

My brother, Paul, and his partner, Allen, have been together since I was about six or seven years old. That would make them at about 18 years now. Take that Joe.My.God.! My brother is a lighting designer and his partner is a set designer. They have worked on numerous broadway plays, NYC Operas, soap operas (the few that are still filmed in NYC), and commercial displays.

Because they do production design they both have knowledge of how things ought to look according to period. When they bought their house in 1998 it was a wreck. The stairway was falling off the wall. The kitchen was tiny and bathed in the tasteless elegance of the 1970s and many of the home's historic features had been covered up by poor design trends. They are both extremely talented individuals and they now live in a world of unparalleled beauty.



Although their house is not what I would call comfortable or my taste whenever I visit I am in awe of how amazingly elegant their home is. This is my favorite room in their home, the dining room. The mirror is a restored antique from the ante bellum period of which the home was built. Let me just say that everything in this room is of the period that the home was built. The fireplace was made to their specifications. The table and chairs they acquired at an auction in Georgia and were from a plantation home. The wallpaper was custom designed by a friend of Allen's who does wallpaper for theatrical productions. The chandelier was a piece of junk when they bought it but they had it professionally restored.

Wait there's more. Nothing in their house is fake. The garland that you see on the fireplace and the chandelier for the holidays is a string of cranberries that Allen made. The oranges that you see in a crystal bowl on the top of mantle were also hand studded with cloves by Allen. All of the pine garlands that you see are also real. They have such an acute attention to detail that they make Martha Stewart look like a country yokel.

Here are some other photos of their kitchen which is equally impressive. Paul is on the left, Allen in the middle, and my mom is making fresh cranberry sauce. Jellied cranberry sauce in the shape of a can in my brother's kitchen?! NEVER!! Did I mention that he's an accomplished chef as well? They have all the latest modern amenities but have managed to hide them very well.


Being that my brother is so many years older than I am (forty years older than me) I don't have that much of a relationship with him. The year that I came out to my family I spent the holidays in NY, the house had not been finished this much yet. When my dad picked me up from the airport he told me that my brother was upset that I had never spoke to him about my sexuality or my relationship with Brad. I guess he wanted to be there for me but I honestly never knew. That year he and I trimmed his tree together and I was nervous as hell. I was nervous firstly because I wanted to be a good assistant with the decorating. Secondly I was nervous because I so desperately wanted to say something to him about Brad, about my sexuality, and how I was touched that he cared. I didn't say a word to him and we trimmed the tree in utter silence.

Last year he gave Brad and I tickets to see Twelve Angry Men on broadway. He and Allen were the head lighting and set designers respectively. The production had a star studded cast and the sets and lighting were phenomenal. I was so proud of the both of them that I was anxious to see them the next morning after the show and tell them how beautiful their work was. I did but I couldn't possibly express in words to him that I was so proud of his and Allen's work that it brought me to the verge of tears.

My brother is a tempermental provincial New Yorker who thinks that everything outside the city is the hinterlands. My mother is always getting on my case to call him and to have more of a relationship with him. I think in the coming year I'm going to make an attempt to do just that.

I didn't intend this post to be so long or go in the direction it did.

Say It Sunday: Transcribed

Audioblogger seems to be taking the day off so I am going to just write down what I had tried to post twice with audioblogger earlier today.

First of all I never mentioned Scotty over at The Other Side of Straight. I just wanted to say thanks to him for organizing Say It Sunday.

Family Life

I've had more down time than usual this past week at work and of course I've been reading many a blog. I have noticed that several gay bloggers have been recounting stories of familial issues, especially over the holidays, regarding their sexuality. I have to say that these stories make me very sad and my heart goes out to everyone that has to deal with that kind of bullshit. I hate to use such a trite and vulgar term to describe it but I think its appropriate. I am truly lucky to have a family that supports me and my partner and our life together.

Be that as it may I do realize that my situation is unique being that I had two gay brothers come out years before me and that one of them passed away. The lesson that came from that though is that our time here is shorter than you realize and no one should take family for granted. So many people hold grudges thinking that they have enough time to make amends but all too often its too late and they lose the opportunity to let people know that they really cared.

I think the best thing to do in strained family situations that result from sexuality is to always offer the olive branch. Make yourself open to them and put the ball in their court. That way you know that you did the best you could to build a relationship with them.

Politics

I wanted to draw attention to a great op-ed post in the Huffington Post that was posted on Friday by jane Smiley. She wrote a response to an op-ed piece in the Wall Street Journal by Holman W. Jenkins Jr. which stated that he thought that people who buy Toyota Priuses are getting duped because they are not getting the most for their money. She defends her Prius and that she buys natural organic foods for the hope of creating more demand for such products so that they no longer are premium; so that everyone will be able to eat healthy foods and drive economical and environmentally conscious vehicles. She also touches on some great points on how deregulation was the worst thing to ever happen to this country. You can check it out here

Pop Life

I'm really excited this week because on wednesday is the season premiere of Project Runway 2. For those of you that missed the show last season its basically The Apprentice for fashion designers. I hope this season has personalities as large as last season's Jay McCarroll, Kara Saun, and the Capote-esque Austin Scarlett.

Have a good week everyone!

Say It Sunday

Mall Excursion

My friend Greg is going to be proposing to his girlfriend this Christmas when he goes home to Paris to see her. Therefore he needed to buy a ring. Kim and I accompanied him to the galleria this afternoon amidst the sea of holiday shoppers. Its rare that I go this north in Dallas and I hadn't been in some time so I was looking forward to seeing how the majority of Dallas spends their weekends. Greg was a bit nervous about the big leap so we did our best to make the excursion fun.

After lunch we encountered one of those kiosks that sells shit that you really really don't need like hair extensions and cell phone covers with your alma mater's logo all over it. This particular kiosk was hocking fake puppies and kittens. They looked remarkably realistic and to top it off they're bellies would move up and down to make it look like they were breathing.

It was especially disturbing that when you picked these faux critters up from their beds they were completely flat on the bottom. I was getting terrible thoughts at that point that maybe these were taxidermy. Dog anyone?

We moved on to Nordstrom where Kim and Greg raided the discount winter accessories. Fabulous darling!

Obviously a mannequin done by a gay employee at Nordstrom.

Not to be outdone by Kim and Greg's display I found a rather fetching hat and posed while Kim worked as my fashion photographer. I think its amusing that this is another photo of me with coffee.


As the day ended we were greeted with stunning anti-war propaganda. There is actually quite a bit of these kinds of flyers posted around Dallas. I need to find who's doing this and join them!

The Renaissance of Men

It's pretty widely accepted that gays are always on the cusp of the latest trend. Somehow the gay man is the divining rod for the direction of hair and fashion. In the late nineties into the turn of the millenium what gays had been doing for eons the heteros were starting to notice. We were being watched. Somemehow heterosexual men caught on to the idea that if you have a nice haircut, great clothes, manicured nails, and maybe even wear a tiny bit of makeup you can get the hottest chicks. Basically they discovered that the ladies like the way the gays looked, felt, and smelled so they started to emulate them. Metrosexuality was born.

Soon every woman in America was demanding that her beau become more like a sissy by visiting the salon on a regular basis to get the same kind of maintenance she was accustomed to. Facial hair, body hair, non-designer label jeans, non DKNY euro trash t-shirts, and cross trainer sneakers were banished from the heterosexual closet. All of this was brought to full fruition by America's favorite eunuchs the Fab 5 of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.

Evidence is now mounting that the gays are in the midsts of another transition. Jim over at Texas Stream of Consciousness read in a recent edition of New York magazine that the somewhat fringe Bear culture seems to be making a foray into the gay mainstream. This has been corroborated by a New York blogger over at Meanwhile. Both the magazine and the blogger cite similar examples of the transition. Meanwhile states in a November 15 entry "Number of formerly screaming gay "twinks" at my gym who, in 2005, have become "bears:" Forty." I personally find it difficult to imagine the trendsetting Chelseaites would trade in their chiseled undernourished overmedicated plastique bodies for softer rounder models. But truth is stranger than fiction and we might see an emergence of reverse liposuction (lipoblowing?) in order to achieve the new look. What I do find more practical is that the hairlessness of the previous age is fading and giving way to the return of facial hair and body hair.

It would be nice if even gap jeans, sneakers, and t-shirts from Target became part of the gay wardrobe in addition to the facial and body hair but I think I'm hoping for too much. The only way that would happen in Dallas is if the great and powerful Oz, a hybrid of Nieman Marcus and D Magazine, told the heard to do so. I actually prefer that my partner and I are some of the few that are accidentally on the uber-progressive end of the spectrum.

Lately it has been near impossible to determine gays from straights or even men from women. I will find it highly amusing that if in the coming months gay men will be identified as having beards and wearing more casual attire. The straight men will precipitate out of the crowds due to thier overly coiffed nature and gays will once again be able to recognize their own in the public arena once again.

Le Match De Basket

Last night I went out with some friends from work to the Mavericks game vs. the Spurs. It was a a terrific game. The score stayed real close the entire time and we almost had the Spurs beat in the last 20 seconds but it wasn't meant to be. I kinda figured they were gonna lose since they beat the Toronto Raptors by the skin of their teeth on Tuesday night. I mean c'mon a team like the Mavs shouldn't be neck and neck with the Toronto Raptors. That plus the fact that they beat the Spurs the last time they played it was meant to be this way.

It was my first time to American Airlines Center since moving to Dallas and I was really impressed at the enormity of the space. Its been a while since I've been in one of the newer arenas that have been built in the nation in the past couple of years. I think Brad and I will be going to more games since we live so close the arena. We had the cheap seats all the way up in the rafters but the view was surprisingly excellent. I don't see why you'd want to pay more unless you really had to be closer. Next week I'll be at the Dallas Stars hockey game on Wednesday night. I haven't been to a hockey game in so long; I'm really looking forward to it.

Administrative Garbage

Just some quick administrative blog garbage. I added my AIM handle to the sidebar under my email link. When I'm on AIM it will light up. Feel free to IM me I really enjoying chatting with people so don't be shy. Also I've added a creative commons license to my blog. Its something that all you other bloggers should look into. We all have really interesting stories to tell and they would all make terrific magazine articles, books, and Lifetime movies. Its a good idea to claim your blog as your own original work just to make sure that when that wild night you had that ended up with you laying in the gutter with your thumb up your friend's ass gets turned into a third tier made-for-TV movie that you get the proper credit for it. You can check out the licenses available at Creative Commons. Oh you can also license your photos for those of you that have flickr accounts as well.

Here are some pictures from the game. Although my eyes are kinda halfway shut stoner style I really like the picture, it amuses me. Now that its cold I live in this hoodie.

Like I said we were up in the rafters.


The junk food was deeeelicious!

World AIDS Day

December 1 is World AIDS Day. The website for the day focuses more on the red ribbon and doesn't make much mention of the facts so I will do it for them.
-25 million people have died from complications related to AIDS since its discovery in 1981.
-It is estimated that 40.3 million people are infected with HIV and 4.9 million people were infected in 2005 this year.
-3.1 million people have died this year from complications due to AIDS.

Some good news to report is that HIV infection rates are falling in sub Saharan African nations according to a UN commissioned survey. More good news is that the HIV vaccine is in Phase II of clinical trials and the results seem promising. More information about the vaccine here.

Remember to get tested frequently and to practice safer sex all the time. It only takes one encounter to contract HIV so be consistent when practicing safer sex. If you know someone that is living with HIV/AIDS take them out for dinner or lunch, call and say hi, or just give them a hug.

AIDS is something that we should be aware of every day and don't forget its not about sporting a red ribbon. It's about people.