By BlogonautIn a larger-than-life stadium venue that put the closing night of he 2008 Olympics to shame, a bigger than mortal Barack Obama promised that if elected he would lower taxes, keep all American jobs on-shore, give everyone health insurance, end America’s dependence on foreign oil in a decade, create 5 million new jobs, and give everyone eternal life.
No word yet on how this would be possible, but Politico.com is reporting that Obama is the descendant of gods.
The Chicago Senator’s running mate Joe Biden had more down to earth spin, saying: “That is what you do when you are raised by a single mother of modest means”. (No, it did not make any sense to us when we heard it on Wednesday night either.)
Following the lollapalooza event—which included top rock star talent, such as the Black Eyed peas, Sheryl Crow, Stevie wonder, and, of course, Barack Obama—the Obama campaign set off an estimated $100 billion worth of fireworks, all paid for with $5.00 individual donations from newly registered Democratic voters under 20 years old.
Hail Xerxes!
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