Work has become such a trial for me. I grow increasingly more frustrated with the situation that I am in there. I took this job on the assumption that I would be at the ground level and would be helping to build the molecular biology research in the plastic surgery dept at UTSW. That implies that the department had a desire to improve their research in molecular biology. I have to discover that the department has no desire to make any kind of foray into molecular biology and I am not quite sure why they needed me. I will never again take a job that I am not 100% certain of what it exactly entails. Next time I interview I am going to check out the P.I. on Ovid and check out his publications and also ask what current projects they are working on. My boss is a hack, a nice man yes, but a hack. He is a sell out and is just a servant to the asshole that is the chairman of the department.



My plan: study like a mother for the GRE, prepare an amazing application to the graduate school here and get the hell out of this situation and do some real fucking science and not this plastic surgery bullshit. I was told I’d be working on the genetics of wound healing. I havent done anything of the sort, additionally my boss doesn’t even pretend to know genetics.



A little tip for everyone. To truly remember the krebs cycle remember Cindy Is Kinky So She Fornicates More Often. Citrate, Isocitrate, alpha-Ketoglutarate, Succinate, Succinyl CoA, Fumarate, Murate, Oxaloacetate. Fuck you plastic surgeons I know the krebs cycle, you sick fucks, you arent doctors, you’re fucking masochists.

Neglect. I have neglected my blog. Well in the past week things have been mostly status quo. Brad and I had an interesting experience on Wednesday night. If you know either of us personally you may inquire, otherwise you may not want to know.



I have been utterly miserable the past few days. I have been working out a lot lately and I think I have overtrained. I did arms last Wednesday and had a very intense work out. The next day my arms were sore but I am usually after a work out so i really didn’t think anything of it. However on Friday when I went to work out again, after two excercises my arms were on FIRE. I couldn’t finish and then on Saturday my arms were useless. It’s the worst feeling ever. I can barely lift the brita in my fridge for some water. “I want your arms.” Hehehe its an inside joke…the magic of jen the spirit of na.



Brad and I browsed at apartments this weekend also. What a fulfilling and frustrating experience. We cannot stand where we live now and cannot wait to move. We most likely move to an area called uptown here in Dallas. The apartments are nice and everything is right there. Your apartment could be right over a café, restaurant, or some other business. Its very urban and it appeals to us greatly. In addition to all of that the people that live in this part of town have real jobs that require them to go to bed every night no later than midnight. So the chances of us being woken up at 4am by bongo drums and guitar from a courtyard are virtually nil. Anyone reading this that lives in the Dallas area or might be moving to Dallas, do not live at a Power Properties apartment unless you want to be forced to watch movies outside and drink margaritas out of a soft serve ice cream machine with an impish fag named Wesley.

Thank you Nate! Read here



Okay so this guy DID break the law. However, he does reveal and underline an important point about airport security. Its a farce. Before September 11th it was just local minorities and elderly individuals who worked as the "security" personnel at airports around the country. They were all employed by various "security" contractors. The only thing that's different after September 11 is that now they all have the same employer and the same uniform and they all have the same patch on their right arm that says "TSA."



I have been through airport security several times since September 11th and honestly its not that much more secure. All they did really was buy some expensive equipment and put more conspicuous signs about restricted items. I highly doubt that the TSA employees take their jobs any more seriously than they did before they were federalized. Therefore BRAVO Nate for exposing the chinks in the so-called armor. I don't trust the TSA so whenever I fly I keep my OWN eyes open for suspicious people and suspicious acts. Lets all be a little more proactive.

Fantastic day! It started when Brad and I work up and we discussed how terrible the Bible is. When you think about it the Bible is a collection of stories about people who were slapped up and down the street by God and they still loved him. Umm okay these people are deranged. Its so transparent that the Bible was written to promote poverty and stifle individualism. Take the story of the tower of Babel; here you have people that just wanted a challenge and sough knowledge so they tried to build a tower to the heavens so they could see and talk with God. What does God do? He destroys the tower as they are building it and scatters the people of this civilization all over the world. God loves you remember that. The worst is Job. The man who lost EVERYTHING to God and yet he still loved him. Sadistic fuck that God. I'm not a Satanist or anything but is Satan the embodiment of evil or is he the pursuit of truth and knowledge? How can we ever seek to know things about the universe around us if we don't do so empirically? Therefore why not try things out of the established rules of society and see what the outcome is. Within reason of course there are certain rules that we should obey like not killing one another, stealing from one another, etc.



After our philosophical salon in bed we woke up and got some lunch at subway where we realized once again how lucky we are to be gay. We will never want or ever have children. I felt sorry for this dad I saw today at subway, his children were playing him like a harp from hell. It was awful they had complete control of him. Do you think kids know what they are doing sometimes or is it just that humans seek power at every stage of their lives?



After subway we rented bikes and biked the whole 8 miles around White Rock Lake here in Dallas. What a fucking beautiful experience. Fall is just starting here so the trees are yellowish green. The air was cool but it was completely sunny but light wasn't harsh it was perfect. The lake water had small wakes across it caused by the several small sailboats on it. In the distance we could see the downtown skyline. It was an idyllic bike ride.



I must recommend to everyone who reads this to buy the soundtracks to The Virgin Suicides, The Royal Tannenbaums, and Rushmore. Fantastic soundtracks compiled with some of the most relaxing and exhilarating tunes ever made.





The Bible is evil but life is good.

DISGUSTING: http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,100179,00.html



That is the most disgusting piece of editorial journalism I have EVER read. Arizona the next recall state?!!! What is going on here people. I love how ultra-conservatives are hijacking democracy. Every democratic governor is now in danger because of the ridiculous recall in California.



I believe that Matt Hayes, the author of the commentary, is truly sick in the head. He believes that it should be law that people provide ID for proof of citizenship before receiving medical care. It can be inferred from his article that he feels that MOST of Arizona's budgetary woes have to do with the fact that illegal immigrants are receiving medical care in AZ and not paying the bills. Guess what asshole American citizens do the same damn thing. Its not just illegals. Furthermore, the budget issues in EVERY STATE are due largely in part to the tax cuts that our fearless leader enacted because the federal government has less money to give to the states.



Mr. Hayes fails to recognize that a law requiring proof if citizenship before medical attention can be received would apply to everyone. If it didn't that would be a form of discrimination. It would be racial profiling if it was done purely is someone "looked" as if they were not an American citizen. Therefore everyone that would go into a hospital, whether you were bleeding out of your head, your arm was torn off, or you just broke your leg, would have to provide proof of citizenship. That sounds great. I can just picture it. Corpses piled up in E.R.s all over the border states because they couldn't get their IDs out fast enough so they just had to die. Well at least the state didn't have to spend money to save their sorry and possibly non-US citizen asses.



In addition to expressing his admiration for human life Mr. Hayes also shows that he has no respect for democracy by proposing that Arizona is the next recall state! Governor Napolitano hasn't even been in office for a year!!! Another recall in this country in any state would be a sign to me that democracy has been broken. Because I believe in the foundations of government in this nation, another recall would cause me to seriously consider moving to another country and never return to this one because it would never be the same.

Yesterday my lab took off early and we went to the state fair of Texas. It was a very enjoyable fair experience. Texas has got its shit together. The fair grounds here are permanent and they have really nice gardens and spectacular art deco utopian society buildings all over the grounds. It was like being at a worlds fair rather than a state far. For some reason there were less bizarre people than I normally see at a state fair, in fact everyone was downright normal and CLEAN. Its odd because if you just walk around the city you see tons of questionable characters. I had my first real corndog yesterday too. I had the original "Corny Dog," it was quite delicious. It was a perfect day for the fair too. The sky was clear and the temp was cool, another nice autumn day. No more to report.

Its a perfect autumn day here in Dallas. This morning when I went out to the bus stop in front of my house there was a fantastic chill in the air. A breeze was blowing from the east and it was so nice to hear dead brittle leaves blowing on the pavement. The brisk air had a fresh quality to it that is only present in autumn and wintry air. I miss this season so much and I'm so glad to be experiencing it again. Living in Arizona for eleven years you forget that the seasons change.



Later in the day the quality of light was splendid. It was as if everything was a sepeotone photograph. The air was still cool and the breeze was still blowing, I just wanted to sleep it was so comfortable.



With that aside. I saw an article today online about the "under God" part of the Pledge of Allegiance and whether or not it is unconstitutional for children to say in public schools. The knee-jerk response for me is yes. However when I really think about it this whole debate is kind of absurd. The only people who are capable of realizing what the pledge of allegiance really means are adults. Not all adults I must add. Children don't know what they are saying when they recite the pledge. I didn't know what I was saying, I was told to have it memorized. I remember in kindergarten and first grade I thought the United States was invisible rather than "indivisible." I was programmed that every day before we started class, when the principal's voice came through the brown box on the wall, we would stand and recite the pledge of allegiance. The point of the pledge of allegiance was just as vague to me as the catholic prayers I had to memorize when I was I young. In fact God was vague to me as well, I thought he was some white bearded man who wrote bibles on a cloud in the sky. So if children don't understand what they're saying does it matter?



Yes it does matter. The pledge, although primarily used by children, is an affirmation of citizenship and loyalty to the United States. However the "under God" statement implies that in order to pledge your allegiance you have to believe in God. It is true that the majority of Americans believe in a God but there are those who don't. Then I suppose the pledge ought to reflect the sentiment of the majority and "under God" should be retained. It would, however, be unconstitutional to FORCE anyone to say "under God" if they chose to omit it while reciting the pledge. That case would imply that you could not truly state your allegiance unless you stated your belief in God which would be a violation of the first amendment.



Therefore, the "under God" in the pledge of allegiance ought to be optional for anyone. There are those who believe in America, those who believe in God, and those who believe in God and America. That is the right of all Americans. Choice is what makes a country free and a democracy flourish. Omitting or including "under God" when reciting the pledge does not make anyone less or more American...it just makes you American because you are exercising your right to choose. Perhaps in this debate it would be prudent to refer to another part of the pledge and remember that the United States is a nation with "liberty and justice for all."

Why must the MPAA be so rude...so rude and insolent (hehehe its an inside joke). Really though why cant they come up with a better solution to the screening DVD problem. Eliminating screening DVDs is so transparent. Its so obvious that the major studios give a rats ass about piracy. Instead they want to eliminate smaller independent film competition at the academy awards. Maybe if they stopped producing crapfest films they might get a nod every once in a while. Not like the academy awards matter. That's a joke in itself. The most self indulgent and decadent display of Hollywood excess all year. Why cant Hollywood have some humility? It seems that every time you turn on the TV the biggest stars in the world are patting themselves on the back from some thing or another. Just do your jobs and do them well and go home like the rest of us. The MPAA should use the self destructing DVD concept that Disney was going to use for their DVDs.



Once again there is evidence that things in Iraq are worse than we probably think, contrary to what the president of this fine country says of course. I recently saw an article that the frequency of suicide in active duty servicemen in Iraq has increased since after the combat phase of the invasion of Iraq was declared over (Notice I will always refer to the "war" in Iraq as an invasion. In my opinion to have a war the opposite side should have reasonable means to hold you back.). I guess things in Iraq must be fanf*ckingtastik! So great that troops are just killing themselves because they are just having too much damn fun and life is so rich that it would just be like staring at the sun if they went on any longer. I'm going to go on orbitz right now and buy a ticket to Baghdad. Of course the president doesn't acknowledge this problem and whomever reported this statistic will most likely be stripped of their clothes , forced to kiss Dick Cheney's fat ass, and impaled on the Washington monument all in the name of national security.



George Bush I hope the spirits of all those who have died at your hand haunt you every night and you have to become addicted to cocaine again to cope with it.



Disgusting Facts:



-George Bush has resolved to catch Osama bin Laden and Saddam Hussein but when it comes to the person that leaked the identity of a CIA operative "I doubt we'll be able to find this person." Thanks for dedication PREZ!



-Enron entertained members of Afghanistan's Taliban regime in Texas before the Sept 11 attacks in an effort to build an oil pipeline through Afghanistan so as to outcompete Russian oil companies. In fact George Bush received correspondence directly from Ken Lay asking to show the Afghan men a good time. Keep in mind that at that time no nation in the world except for Pakistan had diplomatic relations with the Taliban because of their tyrannical policies. Lesson is: even though practically all the nations in the world wont have dealings with a tyrannical zealot-run government its ok for fat greedy white American men to do business with them at the expense of humanity.

When we first moved into our new apartment in Dallas the cable was already connected and we were enjoying the free mental masturbation. It was eventually turned off and we didn't jump at getting it turned back on. Consequently we have been living without television for two months. I love it. I never thought that I'd be able to live without it but life is actually easier. I feel cleaner, I'm not constantly bombarded with tampon commercials and predictable banal sitcom humor. In order to keep ourselves informed we have been reading magazines and getting our news from various internet sources (non-network TV sources).



Eventually Brad broke down and he bought a TV antenna at Radio Shack earlier this week. I wasn't opposed to it but I wasn't excited about having television. Last night was the first night that I really had my first exposure to TV in two months. We were actually sitting down to watch some episodes of Sex and the City on DVD, a show that is witty and original, and as Brad was queuing the DVD up Primetime was coming on ABC. It was appalling. It was like watching the movie Network except this was reality, not a movie.



The show last night was about some of the most gripping issues of the week, Clay Aiken (the American Idol) and his new album, Kobe Bryant and his legal woes, and the attack of Roy Horn, the Las Vegas showman. I was puzzled because when I was younger I remember Diane Sawyer and Charlie Gibson being real journalists, and Primetime being an investigative magazine show not a cheap tabloid magazine show. The images of Clay swooshed across the screen accompanied by laser-like sound effects. The opening narrator sketched out the interview with Clay. They made it sound so remarkable that this nerdy middle class kid could make it in the big time, oh and he has a sister with a terminal illness...WE MUSNT FORGET THAT. I didn't watch the interview of course but I'm sure they made it seem that "because Clay's sister has a terminal illness, he was woebegone and turned to music, and that's why he is THE AMERICAN IDOL!!!!" (LASER SOUND FX, LASERS, SWOOSHING IMAGES, QUICK IMAGE OF DIANE LOOKING HEARTBROKEN, LASERS LASERS MORE LASERS).



The narrator continued sketching the other stories about the barely alive Las Vegas showman Roy Horn and the legal debacle of basketball star Kobe Bryant. The high point of the hype came when the narrator was introducing Diane Sawyer and Charlie Gibson. The laser sound effects were getting so intense and the images, the colors, the sounds then "LIVE FROM TIMES SQUARE NEW YORK CITY," said as if it was dangerous for them to be there because any minute terrorists could blow it all up so stay on the edge of your seats America, "Diane Sawyer and Charlie Gibson." The two walk out onto the roof of a building in times square. I turned it off at this point I couldn't take it.



I highly recommend to anyone who reads this to try living without television for a while. I think you'll find that your life will be so much more enriched. You will feel as if you've woken up. Life happens all around you, its not contained in a little box that sits in front of your couch. Don't let your life be lived through the eyes of CBS, NBC, ABC, CNN...etc. Go to museums and look at art, go to the park and enjoy the grass and trees, use your civic spaces, take up a hobby that you've always wanted to pursue, give YOURSELF that makeover that you've always wanted. You can start the latter by using television time to workout. Life is stranger than fiction and funnier than "Friends," extraordinary things happen to ordinary people every day (maybe even you) but its hard to see these things when you're blinded by lasers shooting out of Diane Sawyer's and Charlie Gibson's mouth.



"I'm mad as hell and I'm not gonna take it anymore!!!"

-Network

Why can no one see, except for me and few of my close friends, how disparaging our president is towards the American people. In a speech today the president said that the situation in Iraq is "a lot better than you probably think." What is that supposed to mean, that the American people do not have the capacity to understand what is really going on there? Perhaps the images we see on the news of Iraqis without food, running water, and electricity are all fake? The Blog on this very site that documents the dissatisfaction of a once optimistic Iraqi woman is all false? Hardly believeable. The president has no regard for the American people nor does his administration. They simply want us to comply with what they think is best. They ignore public opinion and dismiss protestors as uninformed, unpatriotic citizens Furthermore it has become abundantly clear that the Bush administration has no intention of providing an unambiguous plan for the reconstruction of Iraq.



Instead, Bush uses his typical rhetoric in his speech like, "Who can possibly think that the world would be better off with Saddam Hussein still in power?" It is simply asinine and juvenile to use that kind of rhetoric at this point with the situation in Iraq. Sadly though its the only form of logic that the president can understand himself. It also acts as a shield for the president because no one could possibly answer "I think the world would be better." Therefore his speeches do not allow any room for debate and he is immune to explaining himself.



He added in his speech's today about how the media is making it seem that Iraq is worse off than it really is. "Life is getting better; it's a lot better than you probably think...Just ask people who have been there. They're stunned when they come back -- when they go to Iraq and the stories they tell are much different from the perceptions that you're being told life is like." Who are these people I'd like to know. What people are telling these stories? Are they Iraqis that went on holiday jut before the invasion and have come back to see that the pothole in front of their house has been filled so that the US army's vehicles don't get damaged riding in the streets of Baghdad? This is our president ladies and gentlemen: he uses unsupported data in a formal speech. Brilliant!



I hope all the NSA desk jockeys read this. Maybe I should put more keywords in it so they pick it up faster with their sophisticated Google searches that they do to monitor national security.



BUSH BUSH BUSH BUSH BUSH BUSH IRAQ IRAQ IRAQ IRAQ 9/11 9/11 9/11

I slept in past my alarm today. Well that's not exactly true. I made the conscious decision not to get up since I was so tired and so comfortable in bed. I needed it. I took the bus in as usual and it was quite different riding on the morning bus rather than the early morning. For one thing there is sunlight and the people seem more decrepit than usual. The bus from downtown to the med center was awful. There was this terrible odor as soon as you walked on. I'm pretty sure it was organic but it was hard to tell. I thought I was going to pass out. The woman next to me had a hankerchief over her face it was too much for her to tolerate. It didn't help that there was a rather disgusting man grazing on a bag of "pigs in a blanket." He was chewing them open mouthed and was eating them so fast. I don't know how he did it amidst all the stench. Oh the humanity.



Citizens of California. YOU'RE STUPID. How could you elect Arnold Schwarexsdfsegger as your governor? How on earth is that man going to do any better than Gray Davis? The problems that California has are not Davis' fault anyway. Its Enron's fault and Bush's fault for cutting taxes so that the states no longer have support from the federal government. Schwarszerdfslfgjegger is not going to fix anything. He's all flash and talk. You've all been fooled by his consummate acting. He's going to sit in the capitol and grope breasts, "heil Hitler," and cry himself to sleep out of depression from losing his physique. Meanwhile the state of California, once the most progressive, will spiral into the dark ages and be cinders in the flames of Awnolds ambition. Enjoy your governor California: don't forget to buy the Terminator Trilogy Box Set this Christmas loaded with behind the scenes extras of breast groping and Nazi sympathizing.



Another thought on Scwaadfskjlfhdjhegger. My best friend Heather, a California resident that still has use of her faculties, made a really interesting comment in an email the other day. How come when Arnold Scwahefslkdjegger admits to groping women without their consent its all OK and when Bill Clinton has CONSENTUAL relationships, extramarital but still consentual, he's a pervert?