Oscar Summary

Red ribbons anyone...anyone...anyone? Oh AIDS isn't cool anymore, apparently its been cured. Next popular issue please.

You know you're really gay when they show George Clooney at the oscars and you're more excited to see Meryl Streep, who doesn't age by the way, sitting behind him.

I wish Tom Hanks wasn't taken so seriously and would do more silly stuff.

Dolly Parton is a plastic surgery success story!

You're even more gay than previously thought when you wish you were the armrest between Meryl Streep and Lily Tomlin.

How does one get their hands on all the animated short films? They all looked really interesting.

Lauren Bacall...

What was on Charlize Theron's shoulder?

Its really sad that Sandra Bullock thinks that she's a real actress.

Its really sad Keanu Reeves...whoa!

Mickey Rooney has evolved into a shar pei.

How many times do I have to be told to go to the movies?

Again, Lily Tomlin and Meryl Streep!!!!!!

Merchant is dead!? Its just Ivory now?

Reese Witherspoon on her character: "She's a real woman...she has dignity and honor and she's a real woman!" Not like that dirty tranny character.

When will this show end?

How would you feel if your leitmotif was a song from a movie about a mentally challenged chocolate munching fool?

Crash. The sound of all the beer bottles hitting the floor at gay bars across America.